We Will Get Through This
Hours fade into days, days into weeks and weeks fade into months. Let us hope months do not fade into years as we continue this journey of seclusion that none of us asked to take.
By now, the temporary routines we established when this all began are becoming more familiar. Or they have been abandoned in favor of something that works better for now. FaceTime wine & appetizers and virtual dinner parties with friends and extended family are becoming commonplace. More Zoom meetings than you might want are becoming normal.
When this time of self isolation began, I looked at it as if we were on an extended staycation. I do not know what changed or when it happened, but this has become a unique journey. One none of us have been on before. The difference between a vacation and a journey is a vacation ends back where it started. A journey doesn’t – it takes you to a different place. Or it may end up in a familiar place but somehow you are different. I suspect both will be the case when the dust settles on this one.
For now, we are all a little bewildered and out of sorts. Life seems a bit surreal as we become shaggy haired compulsive hand washers. Successfully navigating our way on this unfamiliar journey requires at least two ideas worthy of our attention: a fierce attention to self care and a continual search for good news. I need help with both and asked for some advice from family and friends to gather ideas that I can use and share. Thank you, Erica, Kasia and Logan. I have learned much from your input.
A Fierce Attention to Self Care
This time of isolation brings us face-to-face with ourselves. Adversity reveals character. There are days when our character might not be something we are particularly proud of. A little self-compassion (the awareness and acceptance of our emotional reality, whatever it is at the moment), goes a long way.
· Continually balance the basics – input, output and rest:
o Cook together (even if it is virtually) and eat at least one well balanced good meal each day.
o Stretch, strengthen and increase your body’s resilience and endurance by doing something physical every day.
o Safeguard your sleep by eliminating technology from your bedroom and maintain a healthy sleep schedule.
o Spend time outside every day, even if it is simply standing on the front step watching the clouds drift overhead.
· If you are working from home these days and beginning to realize it might not be everything it is cracked up to be, here are a few ideas that will help:
o Ensure you have a designated space for work, even if it is a small table and chair somewhere close to natural light. A plant, a picture, along with some headphones for privacy can make it tolerable.
o Do not book back-to-back virtual meetings. They require far more concentration and focus than regular meetings if they are going to be productive.
o Maintain flexible work boundaries that allows you to be effective without dragging work around with you throughout the rest of your day.
· Recently 2 of my neighbours (over the fence and across the street) described how they had taken on purging projects. This might be a good idea for all of us:
o Focus on small areas to go through, do not let this become a massive must-do project all at once. A closet one week, the pantry another week, the junk drawer in the kitchen or a small corner of the basement.
o Small steps of sorting through spaces in your life with the idea of keep, recycle, give away or simply get rid of in the back of your mind.
· Establish temporary stabilizers to help you take advantage of this unique time-out-of- time we are all experiencing:
o Take a few minutes each day to quiet yourself and simply listen – to the bird song in your neighbourhood, to the lack of traffic noise, to your own breath – just take time to listen.
o Take a 20-minute walk at sunset each evening.
o Have coffee and a conversation with someone whose company you enjoy each day, even if it is virtually.
o When moments of anxiety and confusion threaten to overwhelm you, remember to simply take 3 long, slow deep breaths as a way to let those emotions flow through without taking root.
o Find ways to express genuine gratitude and undertake random acts of kindness as often as possible.
o Minimize input from social media. Pick up the phone and talk to someone you care about, regularly. No emojis, hashtags, TLA’s, HTML links or graphics of any kind, just a genuine conversation.
o Return to forgotten favorite activities. I have been re-reading aloud the poetry of David Whyte and recently listened to the entire collection of recordings by The Beatles.
Recognize self care is a radical act of compassion. When you are in good shape mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, you are far more able to be compassionate with others around you. And everyone could use a little more compassion in their lives these days.
The Continual Search for Good News
Perhaps the easiest thing that can be done here is to limit your inflow of bad news. Every day there are stories, statistics and in-depth coverage of both the viral pandemic and woefully inadequate leadership so evident in many parts of the world. Sure, it is a good idea to stay in touch with what is actually going on around the world, but you have more than enough information after 15 minutes of input each day.
Every day there is also an abundance of good news stories to appreciate, all we have to do is pay attention. Here are a few of my recent favorites:
· Global travel has all but stopped completely. The Earth is breathing a sigh of relief:
o CO2 emissions have fallen dramatically over the past couple of months.
o Air quality in China, Paris, New Delhi, northern India, Los Angeles, and Athens (to name only a few) has significantly improved.
o Some children in China say they are seeing blue sky for the first time in their lives.
· While the human population has for the most part withdrawn into their homes, wildlife around the world are taking advantage of the increased areas to explore:
o Leatherbacks, the world’s largest sea turtle are endangered. Yet they have experienced a baby boom on the beaches of Thailand recently in the absence of tourists.
o Jelly fish have been spotted swimming in the now clear Venice canals.
o Coyotes are wandering the streets of San Francisco; deer are patrolling the suburbs of London UK, Kashmir goats have taken to strolling through a Welsh seaside resort, kangaroos have ventured into downtown Adelaide and wild boars have been spotted in Haifa, Israel.
· Extraordinary acts of gratitude and support for the millions of health care professionals, first responders and essential service providers are showing up around the world:
o People banging pots from their balconies and front steps at a specific time each evening.
o Impromptu concerts from professional musicians taking place live from their balconies or posted online.
o An RV dealer donates trailers to health care workers who need to isolate from their families when they come home from work.
o A World War 2 veteran who recently turned 100 years old raised over $35 M in support of the National Health Service in the UK by walking laps around his garden.
o A 9-year-old boy raised more than $3 K from family and friends to purchase healthy snacks for hospital workers in Vancouver BC.
o A luxury hotel becomes a dorm for hospital workers in New York City at no cost.
o High school students in Calgary AB started a phone hotline to bring smiles to the faces of the elderly with a continual update of jokes, poems and positive messages.
· Collaboration to solve this problem is unprecedented:
o Millions of scientists, researchers and health care workers around the world have taken aim at resolving this pandemic.
o They are running thousands of experiments with the results being shared at a speed and level of transparency never before seen.
o Hundreds of clinical trials have been launched.
· While many businesses have temporarily closed their doors and some may not survive, some are thriving:
o Puzzles and board games have significantly increased in popularity, with manufacturers unable to keep up with demand.
o Developers of online stores are overwhelmed with requests to help retailers, farmers market vendors and suppliers of all types create an avenue to sell their goods while their storefront locations are closed.
o Many restaurants are creating meal kits for take out along with video instructions on how to prepare their best dishes in your own kitchen.
o Yeast producers are struggling to keep up with the demand as millions of people have turned to baking bread during this extended time at home.
· Times of isolation can provide fertile ground for inspiration:
o In 1665 a young Isaac Newton retreated to his family farm to escape the Great Plague of London. His theories on the development of calculus, forces of gravity and the laws of motion along with the makeup of the color spectrum took shape there before he returned to his studies at Oxford.
o It will be interesting to see what breakthroughs result from this period of history.
· If the handshake does become a social artifact, it is good to know there are 7 ways to greet someone without physical contact, taken from a variety of traditions around the world. They are:
o Namaste
o Raise brows and smile
o Wai bow
o Two claps
o Hand over heart
o Sign language wave
o Shaka wave
This moment in time that we are all struggling through is not of our choosing. We had no control over how we got into this and we have no control over when it will end. I find myself going back to a favorite quote of K. Gibran – “Our anxiety doesn’t come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.”
It is becoming clear when we do come out of this, we will not be going back to whatever normal was when this all started. Around the world, pre-existing trends are accelerating because of this pandemic – political, economic, social, education, organizational and many others.
How we are going to shape our world going forward is up to all of us. Recently I came across an essay called The Coronation by Charles Eisenstein that shares an insightful and ultimately hopeful message about what our shared future could be.
During this time, online learning is a tremendous way to help us learn how to thrive and take advantage of this environment. Our Personal Change Bundle in our Online Learning Center for Changing Organizations has been a popular collection of resources. Our special Getting Through These Days discount of 25% for all of our online resources makes this even more cost effective. Simply use the GTTD25 code at checkout to apply your discount.
It is very normal to feel overwhelmed, confused and scared during these days. It is helpful to be in good company as we deal with all of this. I am happy to have you along with me as we all struggle to make sense of this and get through it in good shape. Thank you for joining me.
Take good care of yourself,